As I have gone through this myself the greatest words or deeds were:
* Do you want a neck rub?
* Can I bring you something special to eat?
* Can I help you with your housework?
* Can I drive you to your next appointment?
* I love you and will be here for you.
* Offer to do something specific, don't just ask if there is anything you can do. We always answer "no" trying to be strong or unable to think of anything at the moment. If you do offer, be sure to carry through!
* Don't tell them it will be all right unless they ask!
* One of the other things I found helpful was for someone to come over once a week and help me weed and water my flower gardens!
* There was one dear lady who knew of my circumstances, that I had never met before, yet she would drop off flowers or homemade cards periodically on my doorstep. I'll never forget how a complete stranger could be so thoughtful and kind. That, I will remember forever.